talkingDigital

Being a roving computer guy is like no other profession. This week I have decided to list the top 10 things that make my job strange and wonderful.

10. Everyone wants to be your friend. Sometimes you are even treated like a celebrity and people are afraid to come up to you and ask you a question.

9. You get to hear dozens of apologies each week for cluttered offices. No one believes you when you tell them that clutter is the norm.

8. You meet dozens of dogs and a few cats each week. Dogs love computer guys. Many people have told me, “My dog never is this friendly with anyone!”

7. You are  asked by wives to help monitor husband’s and kids Internet activity and you are asked by husbands how to delete history and cookies.

6. You get to setup brand new computers each week and inhale that new computer smell.

5. You get to explain how problems happened with phrases like, “I told you last time that Norton Antivirus slows down your computer” or “Shady problems come from shady websites.”

4. After working on a computer problem for an hour and using every tool in your software bag to get rid of it, not to mention tweaking dozens of settings, you have to answer the question, “What did you do to fix it?”

3. You get to hear the phrase, “I am a computer illiterate,” “I know nothing about computers,” “I only know enough about computers to get into trouble,” “You know those Computers for Dummies books – those were written for me.” dozens of times each week.

2. You get to see how other people live their digital lives. No two computers or offices are the same and I get many ideas from those that I work for.

1. Job security. I try to never leave a problem partially fixed. I aim to meet every need of every client because I know that I will always be back eventually. Every computer has problems. Every computer user  needs help eventually. I spend my day helping people by fixing their computers. I am a doctor, a mechanic, a librarian and a teacher all crammed into one geek package.

It is time for another episode of “What it’s like to be a computer guy!”

Disclaimer: The following account is a generalization and does not reflect any specific person or problem. This account is not intended to embarrass or upset anyone, it is simply intended to be a look into the world of what it is actually like to be a computer guy.

Scenario: I am running about 20 minutes late to my next appointment. I called 15 minutes ago and said I would be five minutes late.

As I get into my car I decided to use the time between appointments to check my messages.

“You have six new messages… Message 1. ‘Hi this is ________________ and I can’t get anything to print…”

Sounds like something simple that I can diagnose over the phone on the way.

“Press 8 to return this call…”

I press 8.

“We’re sorry this party does not accept unidentified calls, please hang up, enable caller ID and try again.”

This should be quick so I pull over and write the number down and dial. I get back on the road as the phone rings.

“Hello…”

Hi This is Adam the computer guy. You called and said you can’t print anything. Have solved the problem yet?

“No.”

Do you have a quick second to write down some instructions?

At this point I am almost to my appointment.

“Just a second I need to get a pen.”

Short pause.

“OK, I’m back.”

OK, write this down: First, you will need to turn off your computer and your printer.

“OK, just a second…”

No! just write the steps down…. Hello? hello?

“OK, I’m back. It’s shutting down.”

Good. Now, I’m getting ready to go into an appointment so just write these steps down and I will call you back to see if  it  worked when I get done with my appointment.

“OK, it’s off now what?”

Alright, now write this down. Step 2. unplug the cable that connects the printer to the computer.

“My computer doesn’t have one.”

Yes it does.

“No, I’ve never used it.”

Have you printed before?

“Yes, it was printing just fine yesterday.”

What did you print?:

“Some email’s that my daughter sent me.”

OK, then there is definitely a cable connecting your printer to your computer. Do you want to just schedule a time for me to come by? I figured this would go quick but your computer might have some other problems.

“Oh! There’s the cable.”

Good. Now write this down. You are going to unplug that cable.

“OK, just a second *clunk*…”

No just write this down…. Hello? hello? (2 minutes goes by)

“OK it’s disconnected, now what?”

OK, I have to go into my next appointment so just write this down. Step 3.Turn your computer and printer back on.

“OK, just a second I need to find the buttons…”

This goes on for 12 minutes. In the end the problem isn’t fixed, I am nearly an hour late to an appointment and absolutely no notes were taken. And the last sentence before we say goodbye is often the same…

“It didn’t work. Now, tell me what we did so I can try it again before I have you come out for an appointment…”

Computers are easy. No, really they are. They are not intuitive, but they are easy.

In order to prove my point, I have developed the Cochran Sliding Scale of Easiness. Using this scale I can easily gauge whether something is easy or not and just how easy that thing may or may not be.

Here are the criteria for evaluating if a thing is easy.

1. Can it be broken down into steps?

2. Are the procedures always the same once learned?

3. Does every part and/or process have a name?

4. Can someone who has never done said thing before do it simply by following a precise set of notes?

The more you can answer yes to the given process or thing, the easier that thing is. See, computer’s are easy.

Computers are not intuitive. As much as we want them to be, computers offer no obvious help. To use the help that is offered, you must first learn the things that there is no help for. At some point, someone has to teach you something about the computer so that you can get on your way in the learning process.

Computers are easy to learn, but you must put in the work. Here’s what you should know..

1. Buy a notebook and keep it by your computer. Write in it every time you learn something.

2. Write clear concise notes. Do not skip a single step and never assume that you will remember next time. Write it down.

3. Learn the names for everything. This may be the best use for a computer book. In general, books can’t teach you anything, but a good book that points out all of the Windows features and names them will go a long way in getting you started.

4. Realize that everything you do with your computer is a process. There is not flowchart for doing everything with your computer, but there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of little process to do each thing.

5. Processes rarely change. Once you learn how to print, you will follow that same process every time in every program. Once you learn to save, that same process will work the same way in every program. The same goes for sending an email, attaching a photo to email, spell checking a document, searching Google, installing a program, etc.

I think the biggest reason that people have a hard time learning their computers is that they are overwhelmed. When you are overwhelmed, your confidence is shaken. When your confidence is shaken, your mind closes to learning.

Rather than focus on learning the computer, learn how to print. Learn how to save. Learn how to send an email. Gradually work your way up to big things like creating tables, formatting columns, removing backgrounds from photos, etc. You will discover that all large processes on your computer are actually made up of lot of short processes.

Eat it the same way you would an elephant – one bite at a time.