talkingDigital

Being a roving computer guy is like no other profession. This week I have decided to list the top 10 things that make my job strange and wonderful.

10. Everyone wants to be your friend. Sometimes you are even treated like a celebrity and people are afraid to come up to you and ask you a question.

9. You get to hear dozens of apologies each week for cluttered offices. No one believes you when you tell them that clutter is the norm.

8. You meet dozens of dogs and a few cats each week. Dogs love computer guys. Many people have told me, “My dog never is this friendly with anyone!”

7. You are  asked by wives to help monitor husband’s and kids Internet activity and you are asked by husbands how to delete history and cookies.

6. You get to setup brand new computers each week and inhale that new computer smell.

5. You get to explain how problems happened with phrases like, “I told you last time that Norton Antivirus slows down your computer” or “Shady problems come from shady websites.”

4. After working on a computer problem for an hour and using every tool in your software bag to get rid of it, not to mention tweaking dozens of settings, you have to answer the question, “What did you do to fix it?”

3. You get to hear the phrase, “I am a computer illiterate,” “I know nothing about computers,” “I only know enough about computers to get into trouble,” “You know those Computers for Dummies books – those were written for me.” dozens of times each week.

2. You get to see how other people live their digital lives. No two computers or offices are the same and I get many ideas from those that I work for.

1. Job security. I try to never leave a problem partially fixed. I aim to meet every need of every client because I know that I will always be back eventually. Every computer has problems. Every computer user  needs help eventually. I spend my day helping people by fixing their computers. I am a doctor, a mechanic, a librarian and a teacher all crammed into one geek package.

With all of the great headlines coming from the Pirate Bay trial over the past few weeks, I have really been thinking about how hard it must be for both sides to make their case.

Copying software, music or movies without paying for them is illegal. Anything that is illegal is wrong.

I was at the Goodwill this week and looking through their CD collection this week and it got me to wondering if buying a used CD was technically legal. The artist has collected the royalties from the original sale, but does that make it OK?

Are libraries legal? Every book I read from the library is a book that I will likely never buy. Same goes for magazines. I can go to the library and read any issue of any magazine without having to subscribe. Today most libraries even have music and movies available for checkout.

True, someone has paid for those items, but what about all of the lost sales and royalties from people who borrowed but didn’t buy?

Back to my Goodwill analogy, if I buy a shirt from Goodwill that is still in new or near-new condition, am I stealing royalties from the designer?

If the fact that the library, thrift store or yard sale host has already paid for  these items, doesn’t that weaken case against file sharing and illegal piracy.

If someone pays for a song then gives it to someone else, is that illegal? Yes.

If someone buys a Rolex then lets each of his neighbors wear it on alternating days, is that illegal? No.

If someone buys a fake Rolex, pirated copy of Windows or pirated movie, and they never would have purchased the item otherwise, are royalties lost?

I need to be clear, I am not writing in support of piracy. I am just trying to follow the logic behind the various anti-piracy laws. While it may sound crazy, I also wonder if it will be illegal a few years from now for libraries, thrift stores and yard sales to have certain items for sale.

It is time for another episode of “What it’s like to be a computer guy!”

Disclaimer: The following account is a generalization and does not reflect any specific person or problem. This account is not intended to embarrass or upset anyone, it is simply intended to be a look into the world of what it is actually like to be a computer guy.

Scenario: I am running about 20 minutes late to my next appointment. I called 15 minutes ago and said I would be five minutes late.

As I get into my car I decided to use the time between appointments to check my messages.

“You have six new messages… Message 1. ‘Hi this is ________________ and I can’t get anything to print…”

Sounds like something simple that I can diagnose over the phone on the way.

“Press 8 to return this call…”

I press 8.

“We’re sorry this party does not accept unidentified calls, please hang up, enable caller ID and try again.”

This should be quick so I pull over and write the number down and dial. I get back on the road as the phone rings.

“Hello…”

Hi This is Adam the computer guy. You called and said you can’t print anything. Have solved the problem yet?

“No.”

Do you have a quick second to write down some instructions?

At this point I am almost to my appointment.

“Just a second I need to get a pen.”

Short pause.

“OK, I’m back.”

OK, write this down: First, you will need to turn off your computer and your printer.

“OK, just a second…”

No! just write the steps down…. Hello? hello?

“OK, I’m back. It’s shutting down.”

Good. Now, I’m getting ready to go into an appointment so just write these steps down and I will call you back to see if  it  worked when I get done with my appointment.

“OK, it’s off now what?”

Alright, now write this down. Step 2. unplug the cable that connects the printer to the computer.

“My computer doesn’t have one.”

Yes it does.

“No, I’ve never used it.”

Have you printed before?

“Yes, it was printing just fine yesterday.”

What did you print?:

“Some email’s that my daughter sent me.”

OK, then there is definitely a cable connecting your printer to your computer. Do you want to just schedule a time for me to come by? I figured this would go quick but your computer might have some other problems.

“Oh! There’s the cable.”

Good. Now write this down. You are going to unplug that cable.

“OK, just a second *clunk*…”

No just write this down…. Hello? hello? (2 minutes goes by)

“OK it’s disconnected, now what?”

OK, I have to go into my next appointment so just write this down. Step 3.Turn your computer and printer back on.

“OK, just a second I need to find the buttons…”

This goes on for 12 minutes. In the end the problem isn’t fixed, I am nearly an hour late to an appointment and absolutely no notes were taken. And the last sentence before we say goodbye is often the same…

“It didn’t work. Now, tell me what we did so I can try it again before I have you come out for an appointment…”